My Name is Belle Marie
by AshLandWriter
Summary: This is Belle's Journal from when the beast had held her captive, the same one Ben eventually finds in the Isle Problems 2 fic that I have. Read to find out the real story of what happened to her, because we all know they made the story more acceptable than what it was. (You can interpret that last line as Disney's movie or the story Belle and Adam told the public. Both are right.)
1. Prolog

My name is Belle Marie.

I am the daughter of Marie Blanche and Maurice Favre.

And I am prisoner of the Beast.

* * *

-** Posted**: 03/05/2019 (American Standard)


	2. Day Three

**Day Three**

My name is Belle Marie, daughter of Maurice Favre. My father is an inventor. Was an inventor. The last time I saw him he saw sick. Three days ago our horse led me to him, and I found him locked up in the beast's prison tower. It was cold, almost as cold as it was outside. And my father, he was pale and he was sweating of fever. The beast let me take my father's place, but all I could do was watch from the small tower window as I saw the beast drag my father out into the snow and toss him into that metal carriage. I heard the beast shout for him to be taken back to the village, but between the exposure of the cold and the long journey. For all I know, he may very well be dead.

So, I've been locked in this tower for three days now. It's been cold, and I've had to make a bed of hay of which was left on the stone floor. Every morning I find new scratches on my legs and arms, and I think I can feel them on my face. It makes me wonder if I should use the hay at all, but then as I sit here on the cold floor I remind myself that cuts fade and that it's been getting more and more cold with each passing day.

At least I have the enchanted objects to keep me company. Or are they servants? It's not very clear. They call the beast Master, but then again don't all objects belong to their owners? In any case, I can only be grateful for them. I must say, I was hesitant at first, but they're doing more for me than the beast would ever allow. They've given me more than just stale pieces of bread and a cup of water. They've given me tea and pudding, and they've offered me entertainment in the form of stories. And now, they've given me this journal with a quill and ink, they're only instruction to hide it away from their master. So, now I can number my days on paper and recount my days in words. Something tells me I will have a lot of days. I only hope that it won't match the amount of pages in my hands.


	3. Day Four

**Day Four**

There are three enchanted objects that seem to have the most interest in me. The first one is the clock, who goes by the name of Clogsworth. Or at least that's what the candle stick calls him. Clogsworth seems to be the most loyal to the beast, but I think it may just be out of fear. All of the servants seem to be afraid of their master. Aside from his clear bouts of anger, I'm not too sure why. Has the beast broken them before? Has he threatened to throw them into the fire? I can only imagine the worst.

The candle stick goes by the name of Lumiere. He's very talkative and energetic, and out of all the servants he seems to be the least afraid of what consequences may await from his disobedience. I've tried to tell them that they shouldn't disobey the beast, but they all seem more worried about my wellbeing than their own for some reason.

Mrs. Potts is a tea kettle. She's very kind, and whatever doubts I have she always seems to put to rest. Or, at the very least, cast aside. I don't know how I feel about that. This. This place, where I am, it's not some small detail. I am a maiden locked here in this cell, and it does not seem like I will be leaving any time soon. Honestly, had I not traded myself willingly for my father, I'd be questioning the beast's intentions just about now. The fact is, however, I have not seen his monstrous face since my arrival. I wonder where he is, what he is doing, and whether he intends to keep me here like this forever.


	4. Day Five

**Day Five**

The beast came to the tower today. I was scared at first, frightened by his tall silhouette and clunking feet heading up the stone stairs. However, he was remarkably timid, so unsure of himself as he stepped forward into the candlelight. He had heard that I liked to read, so he asked if I'd like to read to him. I didn't understand why at the time, but now I realize that had he tried to read his claws could probably tear the page.

I was hesitant, but the metal bars would keep his large paws at bay. There would be no way he could attack me, not if the cell remained shut. So, when the red book slipped through the bars, I opened it, and I just read. There was nothing more to it than that. We just sat and read for what seemed like the entire night, and when the story had reached an end he stood, nodded, and wished me a good day. It took him a lot of thought, but I know his words were true.

The sun is rising now. Is this my new life, staying up all night to read to an all-so-seemingly lonely creature? If so, it's not so bad. It could have been way worse. I know that. When I first saw his face, I'd expected to become his slave or be eaten alive. This. I was not expecting this. I was not expecting such a dastardly looking creature to take such human mercy on me. Don't misjudge me. I know this situation is a bad one: my father is sick and alone, and I am prisoner to a monster three times my size in a castle I know not the maze of. If I escaped now, I would not find my way. I could get caught, and then. I can only imagine.


	5. Day Six

**Day Six**

The beast visited me again today. I asked what I shall call him, if he were to make this a habit. He seemed solemn, as though remembering something. He must have a name. He must have come from somewhere. He must have family, just as I do. He claims no such things, however, and he becomes angry when I present those prospects. Perhaps he's lost someone? Perhaps he's lost himself. What exactly happened here?

I wish I knew. I wish I knew where I was, what my life is to look like. I wish I knew what awaited me here. Am I to stay in this cell forever? Will I ever be freed? My father should have reached the village by now. If so, then maybe someone will come search for me.


	6. Day Seven

**Day Seven**

Today Beast brought crackers and cheese to enjoy as I read. A bit later I had asked if I could have one. I had been so hungry. The servants are nice enough, but they can't sneak food for me every night and it just hasn't been enough. He must have noticed, perhaps by the rumbling of my stomach or my weak state, because although he'd been hesitant to share, he soon changed his mind. He wants me to live. That at least means something.

I will be alive when my father comes for me. I won't be some disheveled woman torn to shreds, over which he would lay his head and sob. No. I will be alive. I'm certain of it. My father will come for me, we will return to our nice, quaint village, and I will be at peace.


	7. Day Eight

**Day Eight**

The beast came again today. It was different, more like the first time. There was no book, no crackers, nor any real conversation. In fact, I could hardly get a word in. I heard a thump from the stairs, something crash, and when he roared I stepped back and into the dark. It was of no use, of course. I'm locked in here so he would know I'd have remained, and this nocturnal monster must be able to see me. I am his prey. Of course, he can see me.

When he came forward and grabbed the cage, the clanking of the bars made me gasp and step further back. He accused me of being some mastermind. I don't recall every detail. It's all a blur, but it was something about how I was trying to con him. He said I had some big plan to escape, that I was manipulating him to do it. I only wish that were true, but I have no plan and I told him that. He, of course, didn't believe me. With a gruff growl he stomped away, the red flash of his cape the last thing I saw of him.

I really don't have a plan. I can't escape if I don't get out of here, and I'm not willing to use anyone to do it. Even if they are furniture, it just wouldn't be right. They can talk. They can move. They are alive. There's no denying that, and if they are alive that means they could die. They could all die, and it would be my entire fault. No. I stay here. I wait. I wait for someone to come, or I wait to find the key to my cell. No. No key. I don't know this place. I would never get away. No. Waiting for someone to come, that is my only choice.


	8. Day Nine

**Day Nine**

Beast came by again today. It's like yesterday never happened. He handed me a book, and he even asked if I'd like anything. I said that some soup would be nice, and then he shouted at Lumiere to get it for me. I don't know how to feel about it. I think he was trying to be nice, but at the same time he still just treats his servants like I don't even know what. Inanimate objects. He treats these enchanted objects like everyday objects. Are they? Are these objects with names really just enchanted to seem alive, or were they alive to begin with?

It's awful confusing. There is magic here. There is no doubt about it. I just wish I knew what kind of magic it was and what type of lives the servants and Beast had prior to that interruption. They serve him now. Have they always served him? Did they used to be people?


	9. Day Ten

**Day Ten**

Beast has asked me to read a longer book this time. I'm glad, really. I was getting tired of those old myths and short, straight-forward stories. Although, this longer book seems too complex for him. It's like he's never left the castle before. He probably hasn't. In any case, I found myself teaching him concepts like farming and businesses. If I thought this book was going to take us a while, I'm sure it will take longer now.

I'm not complaining, by any means. I just don't understand. A woman I would. Women bake. They sew. They don't read. A man should. Then again, I've forgotten he isn't a man. He is a male of his species, whichever that may be.


	10. Day Eleven

**Day Eleven**

Beast did something tonight. He opened the cell door and came in. I backed myself against the wall. My only thoughts were that I knew this would happen. Men have so little restraint, and a beast must be much worse. Except that nothing happened. He made a sad growl, and I settled. He handed me the book again, shut the cell, and then nodded for me to sit. He sat near me, and no later did Mrs. Potts come in with tea and buttered bread.

The tea was so warm, it made me feel cold. Beast saw me shiver and asked if I was okay. I admitted that I was a little could, but then I brushed it off as though it was nothing. It's not nothing. Children have died in the village from cold. I could die from it, especially with this open window. There is no way to close it. It's a hole made in the brick, and whenever I try to fill it with hay, the hay floats to the ground. I thought about jumping out of it, but it's undoubtedly too high. I would brake a bone. I could die. No. My father needs me to stay alive, but I realize now that if I am ever to see him again, I must escape so that he can get me. The beast seems to have started to trust me. Perhaps I could try to get him to let the cell stay unlocked, but that is the most obvious thing in the world. He would know, and then I'd lose his trust. I can't lose it. If I lose it, if I make him angry with me, do what he had feared of me, then there's no telling what he'd do.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/08/2019


	11. Day Twelve

**Day Twelve**

Beast let me out of the cell today. For lunch he showed me down to the alcove sitting area, and I was given more soup, this time with vegetables. I wonder how they get vegetables, or any food for that matter, when there's been nothing but snow here. I really should have asked, but it hadn't even occurred to me at the time. As soon as we sat and were served my eyes found the front door. The beast said I wanted to leave. He sounded almost sad, and even under all that fur I could see it written in his face.

I told him that no, I don't want to leave, and it was true. I wanted to continue to sit in that comfy chair by the warm fire and continue eating that wonderful meal. It was nice sitting there in that light, embracing the warmth and eating until I could no more. I feel full now. I can't remember the last time I felt this satisfied. However, now I'm back in my cell and locked in. Oh, how I do hope I'll be let out again. I didn't run. He knows I won't now, so I hope he will let me.


	12. Day Thirteen

**Day Thirteen**

Beast did not come today. Instead, I was given dinner at my cell by Lumiere and Mrs. Potts. When I asked where the beast was they just looked at each other, and when I asked again they said he merely had some things to attend to. Attend to. What's a beast in a deserted castle, with servants no less, supposed to attend to? Something's wrong. I know there is.

The most horrid thought just occurred to me. What if my father has come back? What if there'd been others? He could be attending to them right now. He could be killing them, and then he will take it out on me. I'm sure of it. It'd be my fault they showed. But this is impossible. Sure, my father may have returned to the village by now, but there's no way he'd be back so soon. He doesn't even have Phillipe. Without a horse, how is he supposed to return so soon? How is he supposed to return at all? The town thinks he's crazy. They won't believe it. I hardly believe it. I am going to be trapped here, and no one is going to come for me. What shall I do?


	13. Day Fourteen

**Day Fourteen**

Beast and I had dinner down by the fireplace. Or, I had dinner. He doesn't eat, not really. At least, he doesn't eat much around me. All he's had so far is hand food, mostly meat. I doubt he has fruit or vegetables, on their own anyway. His teeth look too sharp for that. He must be a carnivore of some sort. My soup of noodles and vegetables, maybe he can't even have it. He sat with me for no reason, no reason than to keep me from leaving.

This reminds me of that German folktale about the two children who were eaten by the witch. She had trapped them, acted nice and fattened them up, and then killed them. Is that what's happening here? I'm too skinny to be eaten? If that's the case, then why wouldn't he be giving more food to me? That must not be what he wants me for. But he's been nothing but decent, so clearly more primal uses wouldn't be it either. And I'm not serving him. So, what exactly am I here for?


	14. Day Fifteen

**Day Fifteen**

I asked Beast why I am here. I understand that I'm here because I took my father's place, and the beast said I'm here because my father trespassed onto his property. So, this is his property, but does that mean this castle is his or does it mean he just found it and made it his territory? I don't know. The more I learn, the more questions I have. And no one's really telling me anything. They think they can just change the subject or distract me with some temporary activity. That may work for most girls, but it doesn't work with me. I want to know what's going on here, and nothing's going to stop me from figuring it out.


	15. Day Sixteen

**Day Sixteen **

Apparently, I ask a lot of questions. Too many questions. I asked if the castle really belongs to the servants' master, and Clogsworth let slip that it belonged to his parents. I asked where his parents are, and they said that they left. It shouldn't be surprising. A lot of animals abandon their young. However, it is, and it's sad. He's spent his entire life here, practically alone. It's a wonder he can communicate at all. It makes sense now, the way he behaves and how he expresses himself. It's hard for him, because he never could before.

Eventually, my questions came to be too much for them, however, and the clock shouted at me and the others quieted. Mrs. Potts tried to reassure me that I had done nothing wrong, but I feel as though I have. The beast hasn't asked about my life. So, why would I have any right to pry into his? I don't. It's just that simple.


	16. Day Seventeen

**Day Seventeen**

This cell has suddenly become remarkably uncomfortable. It's that time again, and I've been reminded just how hindered women are by our own bodies. We're smaller than men, we're weaker than men, and we are disadvantaged by the cycle of the moon. Every waning crescent I bleed. I should have been prepared. The servants, had they been human before, should have been prepared. However, we weren't really. When I mentioned it they seemed put off, as though the thought had never occurred to them.

How am I supposed to continue these conditions? I've lived the month in the same clothes, offered nothing more than a cold bucket of water and a sponge to wash. My light brown, wavy hair has turned flat and dark. My skin feels like there's a layer of clay on it. And now, I have more problems to contend with. Mrs. Potts said she'd try to speak to their master, try to convince him to give me better living conditions. I am a woman, after all, she'd said. He can't deny me that. Because, women are weak and could never fair the same conditions a man could. It's just got me sick. Do I want better conditions? Of course, I do. But I don't want the reason to be that women are just naturally weak, made to be taken care of by men for the will of God.


	17. Day Eighteen

**Day Eighteen**

The beast has not shown today, and Mrs. Potts says that he refused to give me any special treatment. He said that I took my father's place, and therefor will live out the same conditions he would have. Live out. That must mean he plans for me to spend the rest of my life in here. I don't know how I can do that. I really don't.


	18. Day Nineteen

**Day Nineteen**

Still no sign of the beast today. Is he religious? Is he not allowed to be around me whilst I'm in this condition? Or is it just his beastly nature? Can he smell it on me? If so, does it attract or repel him? Or is he just uncomfortable? I could be the first woman in his life. This may be the first time he's heard of this sort of thing.

In any case, I'm left with nothing to do. Three mini, metal bars, thirty-five stones per wall, and a hundred and twenty-two straws of hay per bale. This is where I will spend the rest of my life, and, if I've upset Beast somehow, then I may very well be spending it alone.


	19. Day Twenty

**Day Twenty**

Beast still hasn't visited me. There have been no talks, no books, nor anyone. I haven't seen the servants since the sun went down last night. I've had nothing to do, nothing but cling to myself for warmth. Because, I have no more warmth. I can feel winter coming, and in this place it ought to be even worse. There's no way I'm going to survive in here. I can barely move my hands, and I can't feel the skin of my face. This is it. I'm going to die of cold, and no one is around to even know.


	20. Day Twenty-One

**Day Twenty-One**

Mrs. Potts came by today. She said she'd been instructed to take me to the bathroom and get my clothes washed. After a blue, flying towel unlocked the cell, I'd been led down the tower, through the hallway, and into the servants' courters. The bath was filled with warm water, and I'd been given soap and hair lather. I came out of it actually feeling flushed, and the buildup in my hair had finally gone. I was even given a toothbrush and paste to keep, allowed to take it back to the cell with me.

So, here I am again. In this cell. It's gotten increasingly annoying, being put back in here all the time. He obviously knew I wouldn't run, or else he'd have walked me to the bathroom himself. I really don't see the point in this. If I'm not in here to be kept from running, then why am I? Honestly, I'm bored out of my mind. Being a housewife sounds awful compelling about now. What I'd do to be told to cook or clean, but he has servants. He doesn't need me for that. Which begs the question, what does he need me for? Surely, I'm more trouble than I'm worth.


	21. Day Twenty-Two

**Day Twenty-Two**

So, this is what I know so far. Down on the main floor there is a sitting area between two staircases in front of the exit. One of those staircases leads up to the servants' courters and the prison tower, where I am. There's a spiral staircase between my cell and the second floor, and there are candles on the way down. Whether all those candles are alive like Lumiere, I am unsure. But if they are and they see me try to escape, then I do not know where their loyalties lie.

The second floor contains the servants' bathroom, dining room, and bedrooms. It stretches all the way over to the master's courters, which I have yet to see. I'm not allowed over there. In fact, I'm allowed nowhere. I go where I'm told when I'm told, no deviation. If I want to get out of here, then I will need to do as I'm told.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/13/2019


	22. Day Twenty-Three

**Day Twenty-Three**

I was allowed another bath today. I was quite surprised by this. In the village the people share a well. Sure, my father put in our own well for the farm, but even so we've never taken more than one or two baths a week. Water is a valuable resource, and between the crops and animals and us, there just hasn't been enough for consistent cleanliness. The Beast does live a life of luxury, even if he doesn't know it.


	23. Day Twenty-Four

**Day Twenty-Four**

Beast came by today. He seemed uncomfortable, before he asked how I was. When I asked why he hadn't visited he said he thought I'd want my privacy. I can't argue with that. Productivity is fueled by good health, and you feel better when you look better. I hadn't felt very great lately, not looking the mess I did staying in a cramped, cold cell with a smelly chamber pot and swarming flies. I guess, they've decided not to die this year. Or are they magical too? I swear, I must be losing my mind.

I'm feeling a little better now that I've been kept clean and given a meal each day. There's hope, I think. If I can keep myself together, and so long as the beast feels compelled enough to offer me those resources, then I'll have a better chance to escape. I couldn't escape when I was cold and hungry. But I could escape now, now that I am full, warm, and clean.


	24. Day Twenty-Five

Day twenty-five. I wish I had more to say, but it's just been more of the same. Beast read with me again, I ate dinner with him again, and I'm getting ready to sleep in my cell again. The reading, even, hasn't changed. We've been on the same book for what seems like forever. Every other paragraph he has a question. Not that I'm not happy to help, but it's hard to enjoy the immerse when I'm constantly reminded where I am and what is happening to me.


	25. Day Twenty-Six

**Day Twenty-Six**

I wonder what has been happening in the village. Did my father make it there? Do people wonder where I've gone. Certainly, Gaston must have noticed. That boulder head may have neglected to acknowledge literally every single sign of my disinterest, but even he would wonder where I've been. He could have taken charge of a search party by now. He could have found my father. They could be on their way here. Then again, Gaston is just so narcissistic. If I'm not right in front of him, then perhaps he hasn't even thought of me. He's probably slinging his musket around in the woods, skinning animals and earning the village's approval. I've got to hand it to him. For as long as my father and I have been there, Gaston has gotten us through some inclement seasons. Drought and frost did not do us well, but when our crops would fail he was there. He was also there to bribe me into marriage and threaten how without a husband I'd end up on the street, but I suppose he thought that his kindness deserved him a prize. A man in it for himself without a thought to another, I'd rather take my chances with the Beast.


	26. Day Twenty-Seven

**Day Twenty-Seven**

Beast asked me about my life today, and he actually listened. I was able to list paragraphs of how I cared for the farm, while my father tinkered with his machines. We've been struggling, I explained, that we're one tax collector from getting our home taken away. We moved here under false pretenses. He heard there was fertile land. What we were not told of was the unpredictable weather. A flood can onset a draught, a frost can interfere with spring, and snow can climb one day to fall the next. It's no wonder we were offered the land so cheap, but now we can't keep up. We put all our efforts into this place, and it just hasn't done the same for us.

Beast suggested that perhaps it's better I leave it behind, and perhaps he's right. However, I cannot help but think of the implication of that statement. He's saying that maybe it's better that I'm here as his prisoner. I don't know why he would say that. Is he trying to make me believe I have no home to return to, or was he trying to make me feel better somehow? It doesn't matter which. I am not his prisoner. My name is Belle Marie, my father is Maurice Favre, and I do have a home to go back to.


	27. Day Twenty-Eight

**Day Twenty-Eight**

There are these times when I forget I'm here against my will. Each day is the same. I wake up, I have breakfast and sometimes wash, I read to Beast in the afternoon, and I join him for dinner. Even the fact that he doesn't usually eat with me has slipped from my thoughts now and again, because all this is things I've grown used to.

It's a horrid thought, that I could actually become okay with where I am and what's happened. One moment I laugh, and the next I remember. I remember I'm here as a prisoner, his prisoner. This monster stands between me and my father and our home, a home I still very much have. I just need to remember that. My name is Belle Marie, my father is Maurice Favre, and I am prisoner of the Beast.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/17/2019


	28. Day Twenty-Nine

**Day Twenty-Nine**

We finished the book today. I'm glad to say I get to read a new story tomorrow. It's going to be something new, and with Beast interrupting less and less perhaps it will be more enjoyable than the one before. But that is just a story. I have a life, a life where my mother died during childbirth, my father's been taken from me, and I've been captured. These stories have distracted me from that. I do not know whether that's good or bad. On one hand, if I don't keep myself busy I will no doubt lose my mind. On the other, spending all my time in these other worlds prevents me from analyzing my own and getting out of here.


	29. Day Thirty

**Day Thirty**

There is a staff of twenty-five, I've learned. Lumiere said that there had been three maids, a chef, and then Mrs. Potts as more of a female butler. There are also five handymen, whom would take care of lighting, lawn, and the castle as a whole. It was unclear who the other five were. Something about wardrobe, I think. Clogsworth seems like a planning assistant or an accountant, but that would imply the Beast had plans to make or money to handle.

Lumiere used the word handymen. Either the French language is more limiting than I thought, or he was referring to the enchanted furniture as men. At this point it would make sense to think they were human before, due to their activities and positions. Beast I am less sure of. It's not like he's an object. He is just an animal. Quite intelligent an animal but still an animal, no less. Maybe his parents are just as intelligent, whatever animal he is has the ability to make the world theirs just as humans have. We're on the same level. Although, I'm sure the Church wouldn't see it that way.


	30. Day Thirty-One

**Day Thirty-One**

I've decided this cell does me good. When I'm taken from here I feel freer, and the more free I feel the less I am able to remind myself of how horrible this place is. In some ways I have more here than I ever had at home, and that makes it hard. It makes it hard for me to hate this place, hate Beast, when he's given me so much. This cell, however, reminds me that I am not here of my own volition, and this cell is worse than the conditions I'd have to endure at home. So, I'm grateful now for the bed that cuts my skin and the cold that fills my lungs. It will be this cell that separates my thoughts of freedom and imprisonment, and so long as I know I am a prisoner I will feel the need to leave. This, it's a good thing. It's good, because it makes me think of the farm and my father. And when I am trapped here alone, I have no one to attempt to persuade me otherwise.


	31. Day Thirty-Three

**Day Thirty-Three**

The servants just returned my journal to me. It needed to be returned, because I am no longer in my cell. I had been surprised by the sudden change. Beast had said that I would not be given special treatment, but then he does this. He gives me a large room of my own, and I am free to wander the castle as I please. Except the West Wing, his territory, of course. He said I am no longer a prisoner, that I should make myself feel at home. I wish this was not the case.

Sure, the dark corridors aren't the friendliest, but they also lead places. In the cell I was trapped, thinking nothing but of my freedom. Now I have freedom, I know not what to do with it. It's not like I can leave. Even if I make it out the doors, the wolves could still be out there. No. They will be out there. And the snow just storms worse and worse here. If I leave, I die. I won't be able to leave for at least a couple weeks. For now, I suppose I should just map out my escape route and study the servants' and Beast's routine.


	32. Day Thirty-Four

**Day Thirty-Four**

So, I may have been a little mislead when I thought I could wander as I please. Whenever I leave my room the servants assume there's a reason why, and they're very quick to help me with what I need. Going for a walk to stretch my legs doesn't even seem like an answer to them. They act confused, ask why I would want to do that. I get it. They probably had to spend their whole lives straining to serve their master's needs, and given what I've seen, they could probably use a break. They probably look at Beast sitting by the fire getting waited on and wish they could take his place for a day.

I, however, have always enjoyed grueling tasks. Anything to prove I am more than some guy's property, it is something I've prided myself in. It's also given me the idea that perhaps I could make it on my own. I could make it if I knew how to grow my own food and run the business, which I do. The only problem is I would not be able to keep the property. I would likely end up like Abigail, raped with children on the street. Women need men to provide us with safety and shelter, because we cannot own land and if we don't belong to anyone we are free game. I'm sure Gaston would like that, but he does seem chivalrous just enough to where I suspect he would do nothing more than guilt me into a marriage. He would save me from some other creep, just so he can say I should stay with him and that if I refuse his proposal he cannot promise that he will be there the next time. And then, I would accept it. I would except it, just as my acceptance of my current situation has annoyingly increased. I keep finding myself thinking that this situation I've been put it could be so much better than my chances out there, when really all my fears have already happened. My father may not have made it back, I have lost my home, and now some man is trying to convince me to stay in his. All that's left is for him to deflower and leave me with child, then it would all be perfect. Just as God intended it to be.


	33. Day Thirty-Five

**Day Thirty-Five**

Suddenly, I find myself very much afraid. Last night, I woke up startled, when I saw Beast's silhouette through the cracked door. He had been peeking in, and when I gasped he'd opened the door wider. He said he had only intended to make sure I was still there, but I have my doubts. It was the most frightening feeling in that moment, his scheming expression half hidden by the door. And the door has no lock. I have no telling how many times this has happened or how many it will again.

I have got to get out of here. My first suspicions must be right. After all, he is still only a male, and I am the first real female he has met. He must have been losing his mind keeping me here like this, and now he is about to lose control of himself. Perhaps, before he didn't know how to proceed with me, but he seems to now. If I know one thing, it's this. There is no way that on this unholy Earth I will ever have intercourse with that animal.


	34. Day Thirty-Six

**Day Thirty-Six**

I've been using the wardrobe to barricade the door. Mrs. Potts stopped by to offer me breakfast, and I had to explain my hesitance to open the door. For all I knew, Beast could have been standing right next to her. I suppose she told him my concerns, because later he stopped by. He wanted us to read together, as we have nearly every day up until now. All I could do is stand in silence near the door, and I could hear the sadness in his tone. It made me feel guilty. Was I too quick to judge him? Does the way he looks somehow give me improper preconceptions? At the moment, I'm too unsure to let go. If there's even a remote chance that he's as much a beast he appears to be, I'm better off boarded up in here.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/18/2019


	35. Day Thirty-Seven

**Day Thirty-Seven**

Beast came by again today. Is it going to just get harder and harder every time? I don't even speak, and yet I feel as though I've done something wrong. Is it wrong of me to be so cautious? He could have just left me in that cell, but he didn't. He trusts me, he opened his home up to me, and now I can't even give him the courtesy of explaining myself. He has questions and a lot of them. The least I could do is answer them, let him know I'm still here and that the servants aren't lying. If he thinks they're lying, he could take it out on them. Maybe I should answer him next time. At least, then, he won't get so paranoid again.


	36. Day Thirty-Eight

**Day Thirty-Eight**

I failed to speak again today. It was completely inexplicable. All I've been thinking throughout the day is what I was going to say, but when I finally got the chance to explain I just couldn't. My heart was racing, and my thoughts became nonexistent. There was nothing to fear, and yet I must have felt even more afraid than when I'd first seen his face.

On the bright side, earlier tonight when I suspected the hall was clear, I was able to get out of my room. I really needed to get some water and food, so I sneaked into the kitchen. At least, I tried to. Mrs. Potts caught be, but, luckily, she was just as nice as ever. She offered me food, explained where the Beast currently was, and I was able to take a bath before heading back to my room. It's nice and quiet, comfortable too. I can just lay here in sleep, and then things somehow seem a lot better than they are.


	37. Day Thirty-Nine

**Day Thirty-Nine**

It doesn't seem that my actions of last night has pleased the Beast very much. He was trying to convince me to come to dinner, but I still just didn't feel safe. I said no, and with each time he asked, the more annoyed I got. Some guys just can't take no for an answer, which doesn't make me feel any better to open the door for him. He actually had the nerve to say he'd break the door down, like that's going to make me do it for him. He's also ordered the servants to make sure I only eat when I decide to have dinner with him, but there's no way I'm doing that after this. Looks like it's time to get out of here after all.


	38. Day Forty

**Day Forty**

So, I may have gotten a little side-tracked. After I left my room to escape this place, the servants found me. We talked a little, and then they offered me a tour. I realized if nothing else, it would give me more information to go on. However, I could not help but wonder why Beast would not want me to venture to the West Wing. I glanced from the servants to the stairs, before I had sneaked away. It would be my last chance to uncover the mystery of my capturer.

When I went into the West Wing it had been clear just what wrenching anger and sadness the Beast must have been feeling, torn curtains and broken statues. There was even this picture of a family he had clawed at, probably reminding him of how he'd been abandoned by his own. The only decent source of light came from the glowing rose. I went up to it, removed the glass, and reached to see if it was real. At that moment Beast jumped out in front of me, covered the jar back up, and glared at me. The anger in his expression, I stepped back. He asked a lot of questions, but I'd barely been given enough time to answer one. He grabbed my arm, pushed me to the floor, and told me to leave. I knew it hadn't been what he meant, but at that moment I raced to the front door, put on my cape, and left out into the winter storm.

Phillipe and I didn't get far before the wolves attacked. I thought I was a goner, but then another animal emerged, the Beast. He fought off the wolves and scared them away with his mighty roar. He'd passed out in the snow, and I was more than ready to leave. But he had saved my life. I couldn't just leave him there, and so I helped him up onto the horse and walked him back to the castle. I know it was foolish, many would say, my one chance to leave squandered, but I find it quite remarkable, remarkable how courageous and honorable he had been when it truly mattered. Beast is more of a man than most men. I know now I have nothing to fear from him. He saved my life, risking his own. He wouldn't ruin that by ruining me. He's in no way as scary as he first seemed.


	39. Day Forty-One

**Day Forty-One**

I started to read to Beast again today. It's the least I can do. I am the reason he's injured after all. I just feel so foolish, judging a book by its cover. Just because he looked like a monster, that doesn't make him one. In the village if someone trespasses on another's property, the owner has the right to shoot on sight. In hindsight, the Beast has been quite generous. He's been generous this entire time, letting me trade myself so my father may survive, sending him back to the village even with his knowledge of this place, and then offering me my own room. It's more than anyone else would have done, surely. I shouldn't have been so quick to judge.

Beast seems to heal quite quickly, but his wounds are great. It may still take him a week or so to fully recover. I hate that I've done this to him. If it weren't for me, he would not need bandages or rest. Apparently, he also hunts his own food, and he cannot while he's in this condition. I've set some traps in the meantime. I just hope a rabbit will be enough. Someone as large as him would likely need more to sustain him.


	40. Day Forty-Two

**Day Forty-Two**

I hear the Beast's stomach growl when I read to him. He says he's fine, but I know he's just being modest. Not to be overly presumptuous again, but it does appear that my suspicions the small game not being enough was correct. I tried to get him to open up about it, but he seems embarrassed and becomes angry with me. Later, he had apologized, but I know I overstepped. Even with his meaty diet, I forget that he's not human. It must be hard for him to talk about these things with someone who is not like him.


	41. Day Forty-Three

**Day Forty-Three**

I've been trying to keep myself busy tonight. Beast fell asleep during our reading session, and he was too tired to wake. It's odd for him. He's usually fairly nocturnal, and it's barely past midnight now. It scares me. Have I done this to him? I left him vulnerable when he had to save me from those wolves, and now he hasn't the means nor energy to take care of himself. I remember how that was, lying in the cell. Hunger weakened me, just as it's weakened him. I pray, figuratively, that he makes it through this. I must do what I can to help. He saved me. Now it's time for me to save him.


	42. Day Forty-Four

**Day Forty-Four**

The servants told me that if I can keep the rabbits alive, until they can be bled into the stew, then there's a chance that would do their master better. It came a surprise to me that he would drink blood, but then again it does make sense. If he hunts the animals himself, then he might have also eaten them raw. I still don't know how a rabbit is supposed to compare to elk, but it did seem he did have enough left over to store. So, perhaps, rabbits will be good enough. Hopefully. I'm a little nervous about offering him the stew, but I presume he will be just as nervous receiving it. If he was too embarrassed to only tell me his eating habits, I doubt he would be any less embarrassed with the change I have made.


	43. Day Forty-Five

**Day Forty-Five**

Beast managed to stay awake during today's reading session. This is good, but then he did go to sleep straight after. I know bedrest is good for recovery, but I would say he's been sleeping a little too much. It means he's not getting enough energy. Even if he's getting enough fuel to stay awake longer, it's not enough for him to bother staying awake after the reading session. But it's only been one day, I remind myself. Surely, if he keeps getting proper meals, then he will be doing better. It's only a week. He can make it, and then after he recovers he can get himself as many elk and bears as he wishes. If he's strong enough, that is.


	44. Day Forty-Six

**Day Forty-Six**

The traps were empty today. What's worse is that Beast didn't even want to read with me. He didn't even want me in the room. He just told me to go away and then turned onto his side. I know how it feels when I'm only living on a bowl of porridge a day. It must feel the same or worse for him, eating one bowl of soup that contains minimal amounts of meat and blood. You wouldn't expect a lion to survive on a rabbit a day. How am I supposed to ask Beast to do the same, when he's clearly been in so much pain? He needs proper food if he's going to heal, but I'm doing all I can. What more could I possibly do?


	45. Day Forty-Seven

**Day Forty-Seven**

I figured out why the traps were empty. It seems the wolves have gotten to them, the wood and twine broken, which means they have been coming closer to the castle. When Beast heard this he almost forced himself up, said that if he roared, they would go away. I, however, insisted that he stayed in bed. I asked if he was okay, but he just told me to leave. When I didn't, he roared. I just feel so helpless. How am I supposed to help him? At this rate, by the time he heals not only will he not be able to hunt for himself still, but the wolves will be on his territory. And he would not be able to protect me this time.


	46. Day Forty-Eight

**Day Forty-Eight**

I understand, now, why Beast has been so agitated with me. The servants were very hesitant to give up this information, and in the end they insisted I should only do what I'm comfortable with. Comfortableness has nothing to do with it. If Beast survives, I survive. If he doesn't, I won't. Doing this wasn't even a question. The Beast seemed scared when he asked what I was doing, but I did not tell him. I knew he wouldn't allow it. So, I'd taken a knife from the kitchen and made an incision into my wrist. Beast was hesitant, but I knew there would be no reason for him to waste it. Except that his hunger seemed to overthrow him, and he bit to get more. I had gone woozy, and I'd slipped into darkness.

When I woke, I was the one in bed, and Beast was the one at my side. He'd apologized, and I said it was okay. After all, I was alive, and he was well. He told me that he got the wolves to leave, that they won't be bothering us again any time soon. So, my seemingly rash decision had saved us, and somehow, I think, it's brought us closer. Then again, overcoming the circumstances of life and death will do that, I suppose.


	47. Day Forty-Nine

**Day Forty-Nine**

When Beast stopped into my room today he seemed a little unsettled. It makes sense, after what happened. I asked if he was thinking about the blood, and he said that he was thinking about not thinking about it. I nodded, and he suggested that if I was up to it that we could read. I asked if he could read to me, because I was too tired to speak, but that's when I learned he doesn't know how to. He can speak. He can't read. That's something we will have to change.


	48. Day Fifty

**Day Fifty**

It's worse than I thought. When I had been frustrated with Beast's lack of comprehension originally, it had just been the human concepts of which he had not been exposed to. Now, I've learned that when he said he can't read, he can't read anything. He doesn't know articles like the, or even phonetics of the syllables. From now on, when we read it will be at his level, so he may learn. Every man I've known who've taken their literacy for granted, they are the most foolish and violent. It's directly tied to their sense of reason and emotional control. If I'm to be spending any amount of time here, then I do not wish to do it with an adult who acts like a child.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/24/2019


	49. Day Fifty-One

**Day Fifty-One**

My bedrest is over. I still need to wear a bandage, but I don't feel nearly as weak. I feel better, although I do feel different somehow. There's just this feeling I can't quite describe. Knowledge, perhaps, or intuition. It's like I know more. I feel more. I'm content somehow, like every question in the world has been answered. I know they haven't. I know I still don't know much of anything about the Beast or where I currently reside. I don't know why the servants were spelled into furniture or what Beast actually is, but these questions don't matter. What matters is the moment. In this moment I don't I the chance to escape, and for now I'm okay with that. An opportunity is sure to present itself. Perhaps Beast may even realize what he has done. He's been much more communitive than he had been at first. There is a chance.


	50. Day Fifty-Two

**Day Fifty-Two**

Tonight at dinner I managed to teach Beast some table etiquette, not keeping elbows off the table but to eat more like a human would. Priorly, he would eat without a plate or use his hands for something which was not meant for it. Just like the reading, this is going to be a slower process. He seems to be having trouble holding utensils and maneuvering them around his mouth and teeth, but at least he can eat soup without placing his face into the bowl now.


	51. Day Fifty-Three

**Day Fifty-Three**

As the winter's raged on, the wolves seem to become more and more aggressive. Beast came home today with almost as many claw and bite marks as the night he rescued me. He said the wolves have been venturing areas they normally don't and that they fought him for an animal roaming the woods. It's a hard sight to see, knowing how food and the lack of it can really affect people. And all animals, I suppose. The wolves are hungry from the lack of winter game. So will Beast, especially if the wolves keep doing this. They have the advantage of hunting in a pack. I'm guessing the phrase about the lone wolf dying isn't a metaphor. Without a pack, Beast will not be able to defeat them. At least, he won't be able to regularly. It scares me. Every time he goes out there, there is a chance he may die and leave me here alone so that I may be defenseless.


	52. Day Fifty-Four

**Day Fifty-Four**

Beast doesn't like to read. I get it. Really. Some people just don't find reading as entertaining. It is important that he learns, though. Why is it important? It's important, because without people or books he has completely closed himself off from any knowledge. Perhaps that is the lack of emotional control I've noticed in some people. Beast sometimes behaves like a child, probably because he hasn't learned another way to get his way. The best thing to do in a disagreement? Surely, it's not to elaborate your opinions and ask questions. No. It's to yell. If I disagree with him, he yells. If I ask him a question, he yells his previous statements. It's tiring.


	53. Day Fifty-Five

**Day Fifty-Five**

Beast has come home without a meal again tonight. I look out the window, watch the white light scour the towering snow and broken branches. As fearful as I am of whether my father has survived the journey back to the village, I've acquired a worse fear. It would be worse if he died whilst trying to get back to me. If he comes now, he would not make it. Definitely not without Phillipe. Schrödinger's Cat says that until the box is opened, the cat is both alive and dead. That is my current predicament. Until I see my father again, alive or dead, I have no telling of which he may be. I sincerely hope he survived and stayed where it is safe.


	54. Day Fifty-Six

**Day Fifty-Six**

Somehow, violence doesn't seem as scary when you know what's behind it. When Beast tossed over the table I didn't even flinch. He was ranting about the wolves, how this is his land and how they're going to take it away from him. I'm not sure if that would be the wolves' intentions. I think they're just hungry, like Beast is. Out there, it's cold and dark, and the storms have no doubt trifled with the wolves' territory. Perhaps they even got lost or their home has become compromised.

It's not Beast's fault he's so agitated with the situation. The wolves have taken just about every hunt from him this week, and people don't exactly think clearly when they're hungry. His rant was borderline delusional, I just hope he gets a win soon. When most people lose their mind, they just become slow. An uneducated man, he lashes out. Beast has proven that. And I do not know if I will be able to reason him out of it should he continue like this.


	55. Day Fifty-Seven

**Day Fifty-Seven**

I offered my blood to Beast today, but before I could make the cut, he took my hands. He said my name, and our eyes met. There was this calmness in his blue eyes, and he said that this is not the first year the wolves have acted up, that my help was not needed. I wish I could believe him, but he's been on edge and so shaky. And he's tired. Really tired. Just because he's used to suffrage, does not mean he should have to endure it. I offered myself up willingly, and he still refused. I don't know if this is an act of chivalry or just plain foolishness.


	56. Day Fifty-Eight

**Day Fifty-Eight**

Normally reading distracts me from the world, but now I have found myself distracted from reading. It makes sense. The life I've been living has turned into something quite remarkable. No one would believe it. It's a real intense story, and I bet if I were to write it down many people would be looking for a copy. There's an idea. When I get out of here, I can write my story down, put it under a man's name of course, and then sell it. There must be someone out there who would be willing to sell a woman's work so long as no one knows the author is a woman. I could make a living for myself, but that still brings me back to my first problem. Whenever my father passes, I would not have the right to keep our land. I would have no house to live in, not unless I married and if my husband took care of me. It's a losing battle.


	57. Day Fifty-Nine

**Day Fifty-Nine**

This is the second day Beast decided not to go for a hunt. Instead, he lays in his bed and sleeps. There has been no reading nor any meals. At least, not for him. It's getting on my nerves just how stubborn and unsightly he is. He's refusing to let me go out to set traps, he's not hunting himself, and he's already rejected my previous offer. He's just going to get worse, but he insists it won't stay this way. I know better. We haven't even reached the winter solstice yet. The days are just going to get shorter and colder, and the wolves will not stop until after their own territory becomes habitable and fills with animals again. But it's the wolves or him, the wolves or me. Humans are animals, and I cannot think of a reason why wolves would not tear me limb from limb in such desperate times. He needs to get them out of here. Once and for all.


	58. Day Sixty-One

**Day Sixty-One**

Tonight, he finally did it. It took a little yelling when I was trying to list the reasons why his stubbornness was so foolish, but he finally did it. I told him that he's going to take my blood and get rid of those wolves once and for all. He insisted that he shouldn't, that he doesn't need it, but all I had to say was that if he managed to accomplish this, then he'd never have to do this again, for him to fall silent. He drank, he left, and now we're having the wolves for dinner. He brought home three, and the rest scattered. If they have any sense, they will stay away.


	59. Day Sixty-Two

**Day Sixty-Two**

Now that the wolves are gone, we can take advantage of the traps again. I showed Beast where they were and how to set them. He seemed really interested in it. It didn't take long for him to ask me how it's made, and so I taught him. He caught on quite quickly. Had he been a part of the world I came from, he may have made a half-decent inventor. The way things are, though, this is all I can do for him. You need a certain type of vision to be an inventor. I, however, am much more of a grounded person. I don't get odd ideas like my father did, not the same ones anyway. Beast, he's much more creative minded. It's sad he's had no opportunity to build upon it.


	60. Day Sixty-Three

**Day Sixty-Three**

Beast has been doing a lot better. He's been getting plenty to eat and sleep, and so have I. Things are looking good. His reading is better, his communication is getting better, and I've been given everything I could possibly need. This place isn't as bad as I initially thought. Sure, it could use a woman's touch, but not everyone can say they've been staying in a castle, one with talking furniture, no less. If I were to return to the village at this point, there would be no way I could speak a word of this to anyone. They would call me crazy, just as they've done so my father. My reputation's bad enough. I can't have that. No. I will stay silent about it all.


	61. Day Sixty-Four

**Day Sixty-Four**

It seems to be getting closer to the winter solstice, Christmas. It makes me miss my father. Every year we would bake cookies and hang garland around the house. The house smelled of pine, and the fireplace kept us from the cold. I hasn't felt cold, but I suddenly do now. The memory casts a dark shadow on my current situation. I am merely a guest here. I have no right to appose a holiday of which Beast may not celebrate. It is a human holiday, now marked as a way to praise the son of the almighty creator, whom was born to be later sacrificed, a sacrifice of which became trivial when he rose from the dead. It has turned into pure insanity. I only celebrate it for the family aspects. But that is pointless now, because I no longer have family. There is no reason to celebrate this holiday anymore.


	62. Day Sixty-Five

**Day Sixty-Five**

I've decided that I will celebrate Christmas after all. I may just be a guest here, but Beast did say to make myself feel at home. If this were to feel like home, then I would be celebrating one of my favorite times of year. If I'm going to do this, then I will need a tree. We will get a tree, make garland, and decorate the castle. It's going to take a lot of work, but it will be worth it. I can imagine it now, reading by a fire eating cookies whist the smell of pine fills the air. It would be warm, the castle would be clean, and everything would almost be perfect. The only thing that could make it any better is if my father were there. If there is a God, He will return him to me. If He doesn't, then I will know He is nothing more than the mad, tyrannical megalomaniac the Bible portrays him to be and therefore not worthy of worship.


	63. Day Sixty-Seven

**Day Sixty-Seven**

Beast didn't take very kindly to my decision to celebrate the holiday season. It was nothing personal nor unreasonable. He just saw Phillipe and me looking for a pine tree to cut down, and he thought I was trying to run away. I remember this sudden sinking feeling, as everything fell back into place. I am not a guest. I am a prisoner. I'm not staying until the weather settles and the remaining wolves are satisfied. I'm staying, because I am a prisoner. How could I have forgotten this? Probably because the servants said I was a guest and not a prisoner, and Beast has been kinder as of late. Not yesterday, though. I was locked back in my cell, until he finally let me explain the situation. No. The servants explained it to him prior to when I did. He came back to the cell, seeming shameful, and he apologized for his actions. Society says to accept apologies, but society gets a lot of things wrong. I didn't know whether to accept it or not.


	64. Day Sixty-Nine

**Day Sixty-Nine**

Beast is suddenly on board with the whole idea of Christmas. He wants to know what it's all about, what we do. He's excited to learn how to make garland, how to bake cookies, and even give gifts. He didn't actually know what a gift really was. He had a ruff idea, but it was really a child-like concept. He said it's when someone gives you something. He hadn't known that this would be more of an exchange of gifts. He's never given a gift, so I do not expect much. He seemed unsure of himself when I had explained it further, but I know he will try his best. I, on the other hand, do not have anything to give. Whatever it will be, it will have to be made.


	65. Day Seventy-One

**Day Seventy-One**

Beast and I have finished making the garland and have found a tree to place in the ballroom. Now, all we have to do is hang up the garland, but I suspect we will need to make more. I doubt the amount we have made would even be enough for the ballroom, much less the dining room or the halls. In such a large place, Christmas preparation really should start immediately after the harvest. This year we will have to do with the limited time by celebrating in a limited area. We will continue decorating for a few days, and then we shall bake the cookies and prepare the holiday dinner. I doubt it will compare to the Christmases I've had with Father, but at least there will be a celebration. After all, there had been much to celebrate as of late: Beast has been learning more, I'm allowed to roam the grounds, and the solstice will be soon. Soon, the snow shall melt and the sun should shine.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/27/2019


	66. Day Seventy-Three

**Day Seventy-Three**

Now that the decorations have been hung, I will be teaching Beast how to make cookies. It's a curious thing. I'm not sure if he would even be able to eat them or not, but we will be making them. We will bake cookies, read by the fireplace, and I might even tell him some old Christmas stories. If he's going to know about Christmas, he may as well learn it all. Whether I will inform him about the religion that rules my world, I'm not yet sure. The Bible goes against Beast's mere being. If he learned about it, he may not feel very, well, liked. I think it's very important to him that he feels liked.


	67. Day Seventy-Five

**Day Seventy-Five**

I decided to tell Beast about the Christian meaning of Christmas. To most humans nowadays, it's about the birth of the son of God. Who is God? This was a very long conversation, and the further we got into it, the harder I found it to explain. God is a being humans have used to explain how they and the Universe was made. The God they imagine is all-powerful and all-knowing, and He has things he would and would not like humans to allow. When Beast asked what things, I hadn't the heart to explain that someone like him would likely be considered some sort of monster or demon. I hadn't the heart to say that no matter how human he may seem, because he requires the lifeblood of meat for sustenance, that he has already sinned and is doomed to damnation. Luckily, I hadn't reached that far for him to insist that I explain.


	68. Day Seventy-Nine

**Day Seventy-Nine**

Beast seemed solemn since I told him about the concept of God, and it took me a minute to realize just how much anguish it's caused him. He is very new to the concept, I had to remind myself. He would have been very vulnerable to the information, and today I had to tell him that there's no proof that this God actually exists. He countered with the fact that if so many humans believe it, then why wouldn't it be. I had a hard time responding to that. God forbid that I have any children. Explaining this once is going to be hard enough, and raising children under the authority of the Catholic Church in the belief that there is no God would be even harder.


	69. Christmas

**Christmas**

Today I emphasized to Beast the things I take from Christmas and why I celebrate it. While we were cooking the dinner feast I explained how it's a time to take a break from the same, old routine to spend time with family and show your appreciation for one another. This, of course, brought him to ask about my father and me. I had no words. What was I supposed to say? I miss him? You may have killed him? You didn't even let me say goodbye? Who would that help now? No one. I just changed the subject and continued preparing dinner. He made a sad noise, and I know he regrets something. He regrets making me feel this way, but it's a little too late for that. The only thing that can help now is seeing my father alive, and just as I predicted, the loving God humans follow does not exist.


	70. Day Eighty-Two

**Day Eighty-Two**

Suddenly, the cherry blossoms have bloomed, and the sun has come out of hiding. It's spring, the time of renewal. It's a time to grow, make things better. I only wish I knew how. I don't see much changing any time soon. We're back to our everyday activities. The only thing different is that I'm still awaiting Beast's Christmas present. He just wanted to get me something I'd like, he said. I have no idea what that would be, and I rather don't care if he gives me anything. All I asked for this year was to be reunited with my father, and the Universe failed to comply. It had been a high hope, but I really didn't think seeing my father again would be such a hard thing for an all-powerful force to accomplish.


	71. Day Eighty-Six

**Day Eighty-Six**

I was wrong. No gift would have compared to seeing my father, but what Beast offered was fairly close. It was the largest room I'd seen in this castle yet and from top to bottom filled with books. The way the light shined into the room, it was as though I was in a dream. Back in the village I'd read every book available, but never in my whole life could I read all of these. Although, I'm certain I could try. He gave the library to me, for me to spend as much time in as I see fit. I imagine I will be spending a lot of time there. Had I not lost contact with my father, it really would have been the perfect gift.


	72. Day Eighty-Eight

**Day Eighty-Eight**

Beast and I took advantage of the warmer weather by taking a walk around the grounds. It was quite wonderful, the birds chirping and water flowing along the snow. The air was fresh, but it didn't pain my lungs. It's thicker, easier to breathe now. We spent a lot of time talking about it. After the long winter, it's a welcome to us both. It wasn't even a month ago that the wolves were threatening our lives, but we somehow survived. It's a new year, and I'm going to enjoy it for as long as it may last.


	73. Day Ninety

**Day Ninety**

Beast and I spent the day in the library. He's a fast learner, and we're onto longer and more complex books. His comprehension and attention have seemed to increase. He's almost interested in reading the books, but I get the feeling that he just likes the way I open his eyes to it all. I know I get excited, and he lets me ramble on about what excites me and what I wish would happen. There are more than just myths here. There are books a plenty of which has nothing to do with the real world, and I'm surprisingly intrigued by them. Maybe it's this place, the idea of some abstract world doesn't bore me anymore. It's easier to have a grasp of those kinds of stories when you truly believe anything is possible.


	74. Day Ninety-One

**Day Ninety-One**

Has Beast changed or has he always been this way? It's hard to see how I could have once found such an insecure, timid man to be so monstrous. He's tall, sure. He's muscular, sure. He can growl, sure. However, I should know better than anyone not to judge a book by its cover. When we were on our walk today it hit me just how kind and gentle he his, as he fed the blue birds and listened to every thought I had. Any other man may have ignored me. Any other man may not have let me read. Any other man would expect to be behave, well, womanly. It's not fair, the idea that women aren't strong enough to hold a hammer or skilled enough to diagram a layout for crop rotation, but maybe I've found someone who's risen above that standard. It's a dangerous thought, I know, but what could be so wrong with being treated so decently for once?


	75. Day Ninety-Two

**Day Ninety-Two **

The servants are keeping a keen eye on me tonight. They want to make sure I don't wander, I'm sure. They claim that Beast is sick, and when I asked if I could make him soup they insisted that I should just keep to my own and that they can take care of him for me. It bothers me for some reason, although I can't quite explain why. I've made him soup before. Was there something wrong with it? Or is he more ill than they've let on? I don't see how. He was perfectly fine yesterday. Then again, I may have been a little too self-involved to notice whether something may have been wrong. I hope not. I hope he gets better. Soon.


	76. Day Ninety-Three

**Day Ninety-Three**

My wish came true. Beast is well again. I tried to ask how sick he had been, but then he suddenly grew uncomfortable. He was very hesitant to tell me the next thing, and what he said was that sometimes he loses his mind, doesn't think clearly. He acts without thinking. Before I could say that everyone gets that way sometimes, he took my hands and told me he hopes it's something that will change. He wants to be better. He's hoping I can help him. Beast has made so much progress thus far, I do not see why he couldn't make any further strides.


	77. Day Ninety-Four

**Day Ninety-Four**

I really have nothing to do here but do as I wish. I just wish I had something more to do. I could really use a project, something with a goal I could really get into. Although reading is always new, especially with all these new stories, it is getting rather repetitive. This is such a huge place. Surely there's something more I can do.


	78. Day Ninety-Five

**Day Ninety-Five**

Beast surprised me today. He gave me a proper tour of the West Wing. There's a corridor, the dining room and ballroom which I've already had the pleasure to see, and the kitchen. There's a door that leads down into a wine cellar. I asked Beast if he's ever had wine, and he merely said he's never had a reason to. It's something to bring out the next time we have a reason to celebrate. There's another hallway that connects to the dining room, and that hallway connects to an assortment of bedrooms and storage. That same hallway leads down two flights of stairs, which leads down to the main floor and alcove sitting area. I know the entire castle now. I just don't know what to do with that knowledge.


	79. Day Ninety-Six

**Day Ninety-Six**

I've been allowed to go through the storage rooms, under supervision, of course. Supervision they call help. Well, at least the servants can tell me which things are relevant and which are not. It's going to be nice clearing out this old clutter and turning the rooms into something useful and maybe even beautiful. Even if all I'm doing with most rooms is rearrange the objects, at least everything will have a place. They have a place to belong. All I can think is I wish I did. It feels so right here now, but I have unfinished business. It's not possible for me to be completely comfortable with the idea of being here without knowing how things are back in the village. Do they miss me? Probably not. Is my father there? I can only hope.


	80. Day Ninety-Seven

**Day Ninety-Seven**

Whoever lived here before Beast, they must have been German. When I looked over the rooms I found German items, and when I checked the library I found many of the books were in German as well. There were books full of sketches. Actually, they were more like the journal my father had for his inventions. There was language I didn't understand. Those drawings tell a story, but I have no way of telling what. There are drawings of wolves and men. I would say that maybe the family before Beast had problems with the wolves as well, except it seemed like they may have gotten along better. Perhaps the wolves were once used to help hunt, and when the family disappeared the wolves became wild. I asked Mrs. Potts what to do with all of it. It took her a minute to decide for us to feed it to the fire.


	81. Day Hundred

**Day Hundred**

It's day hundred. I have spent a hundred days here. It's hard to believe. It almost feels as if I've only been here a month. Then again, that time I spent in the cell feels so much farther than that. A lot has changed. I once wished to be rescued from a perceived monster. Now I'm living with a kind man who really appreciates me, and now I have no will to leave. It's good here, and in this day and age it's the best I'm going to get. Do I wish to see my father again? Yes. And I will. I have faith that I will see him again, even if he never finds himself back here. Otherwise, I am fine. I think my father would be proud if he knew. If he knew that I finally found a place where I'm accepted for who I am, he would want me to stay here. He would want me to be happy. And I think this does just that.


	82. The Castle is Clean

**The Castle is Clean**

It's taken a week or so, but I've finished sorting through the storage and now the castle is clean. There is no more clutter laying around without purpose. Everything that had a place has been put back to use, and the things which did not have use found use by fueling the fires. Beast seemed anxious through this process, but now the organized environment has put him at peace. It makes sense. I know I have a harder time working in an unorganized environment. Putting things back in order here surely has made Beast's mind less cluttered as well.

* * *

\- **Posted**: 03/31/2019


	83. I Saw my Father

**I Saw my Father**

Tonight was the best and worst night of my life. It started very lovely. I'd met Beast for dinner, he'd managed to use the silverware, and we spent the rest of the night dancing in the ballroom and talking on the terrace. Why was it the worst night, then? Well, when I mentioned my father and how much I wish I knew how he was doing, Beast showed his kindness by sharing a magic mirror me that had been left by the glowing being he'd previously mentioned. All I had to do was ask to see my father, and the mirror showed me an image of him out in the snow, ill. As I've feared, he came back to find me, he's gotten lost, and he will not survive. Beast turned down the mirror and said my name, but all I could do was move into him and cry in his arms. I felt utterly useless and out of control of the situation. He is out there, I am here, and he will die.


	84. I was Released

**I was Released**

Later on the night I'd seen my father in the mirror, Beast knocked on my door, I awakened and met him there. He apologized, and when I asked why he'd come, he hesitantly said that I should go after my father. I was confused, partly because I was still tired and partly because of how often I've been told how unsafe it is to leave this place. He took my hands, said he knew how important my father is to me and that he didn't like seeing me so sad. He said that if I feel the need to, that I should go find my father. Still tired, all I could say is that I'm not supposed to leave, and that's when he released me. I am no longer his prisoner. I was free to go. So, I left to go seek my father. Now that I've found him, we will be heading home to take care of his cold.


	85. I Brought my Father Home

**I Brought my Father Home**

When I brought my father home, I was met with an eviction notice on the door. The Church is going to take our home from us, because we finally fell far enough in payments. Neither of us were here to pay the last one, and I honestly don't think there would be enough money lying around had we been. I don't know how much longer we have here, but with nowhere else to go we have no reason to gather our things. I will stay here with my father while he's ill, and when we are finally forced out, we will leave with nothing more than what we and Phillipe may carry. If the Church has any decency, they will at least leave us him.


	86. I Told Father Beast's True Nature

**I Told Father Beast's True Nature**

My father has had a lot of questions for me, but now that I could finally tell him how different Beast is to how we'd first perceived him, I hadn't the words. I said I wanted to focus on getting him well, but now that he's been doing better, he's been more insistent. So, I finally told him. He didn't quite believe me, but his assertions fell apart fairly fast. I don't know what it was about me that made it so clear to him, but he suddenly stopped. Any other man wouldn't have even thought it possible, but he asked. He asked if I'd fallen for the Beast that captured me, and all I could say was that I think I have. He shook his head. I could tell it was a lot for him to take in, but after I'd explained how well I've been treated and how accepted I've been, he did what any good father would do. He put his faith in me, and he accepted my feelings as they were. I'd said then that I don't expect anything to come of it, but he denied that fact. He said that if I was going to go down this path, a path that would forever estrange me from any man, then I need to be sure of it enough to follow it through with my whole heart. And I do. I do not imagine anyone else understanding or treating me better than Beast has. For me, there is no other man, and I have no doubt in that.


	87. Gaston is Blackmailing Me

**Gaston is Blackmailing Me**

Now that I'm back in town, naturally, Gaston has proposed again. He used the same lines I predicted he would. He said that soon I will be on the street, and he said if I marry him, he will let both my father and me stay with him. This time was different, however. Gaston's told me that if I do not marry him, then he will get my father put away for good. He's talking about the insane asylum. The Church puts anyone there who sins regularly or simply doesn't believe in God. My father is a less common case. People who exhibit eccentric ideas aren't bothered nearly as often as people who defy the Church's agenda, but the entire town already thinks my father is crazy. They don't understand the way he thinks. The things he invents, the town simply can't wrap their mind around the change. To them, if something is working, nothing else is needed. To be honest, even I don't understand my father's ideas half the time, but at least I'm willing to listen and watch them come to fruition.


	88. Gaston vs Beast

**Gaston vs Beast**

After I told Gaston I'd never marry him, he kept his word and had my father forced into a straitjacket. When I asked if my father was so much trouble, why has he never been admitted before, I was told that he recently caused a ruckus in a bar, ranting about some monstrous creature. My immediate solution wasn't the most thought out to say the least. I took my father's side, said it was true so that he wouldn't' be taken away, but the crowd didn't believe. They laughed all the reasons why it couldn't be so, and I took that opportunity to get the magic mirror Beast had me keep so I may track my father. I brought out a magic mirror into a village of people who hated magic. That was a mistake. They accused me of being a witch, tossed me into the cage with my father, and now that they knew the Beast was in fact true, Gaston has led an army into the woods. I sit here with my father and nothing more but the contents of my bag.


	89. His Name is Adam

**His Name is Adam**

After I found Mrs. Potts' son hiding in my bag, I gave the teacup instructions to release my father's woodchopper from the shelter to get us out of the cage. It took many tiring days to make it through the woods, but we finally made it back to the castle. I was sorry to see that Gaston's followers had already made it there, but luckily the castle's inhabitants were able to scare most of the villagers away. The only one to remain was Gaston, but when it came down to him and Beast, Beast won. Beast gave Gaston a chance to let him leave peacefully, and Gaston repaid him with a dagger in the back. It was then Beast roared, picked Gaston up, and tossed him off the castle. Luckily for Gaston, he survived, and we sent him back to the village.

Beast, however, hadn't been so lucky. If it weren't for the curse, he would have died. I cried hard as his last words escaped his lips, and his eyes had shut. It was then I knew for sure just how much I cared, and I admitted my love for him. That was what he needed to get his reward, apparently. He needed to find someone to love who could love him, because some enchantress decided a twelve-year-old not letting a homeless woman into his home was cause for punishment, but that his reward for finding love is to become human again. Beast's name is Adam, and we will be actively searching for this enchantress. There's no way she expected anyone to fall in love with someone who looks like an animal. She cursed Beast. Adam. She cursed a child, knowing that Adam would never be human again. Little did she know, she would be wrong.


	90. He Invited Us to Stay Permanently

**He Invited Us to Stay Permanently**

After Adam heard of our eviction, he said that we should stay with him. My father was unsure at first, but as the days have passed, he's grown comfortable here. For me, what I find uneasy is all the change. The gargoyles have turned into angels, the grey brick has turned into white stone, and Beast is now a human named Adam. His eyes are the same. His hair is the same. It's just odd seeing him so different. Do I dislike the change? No. It's just something I will have to get used to, his bare skin and human figure.


	91. Adam's True Story

**Adam's True Story**

Adam's parents were the king and queen of Conques, before they had abandoned him and their kingdom. Adam was a prince one day, and he was the beast the next. He hadn't seen his parents since. He had to spend the last nine years as an animal he was not meant to be. He had to develop into an adult whilst being the beast. I imagine it must have been very uncomfortable. Puberty is hard enough the way it is. Doing it without parental explanation in a body you're uncomfortable with must have been even harder. At least, now, Adam is back to the animal form he was always meant to be, human.


	92. We Visit the Village

**We Visit the Village**

The Catholic Church took advantage of the king and queen's absence, but now that the prince has returned there is no reason why the monarchy can't continue. The Church took a kingdom in chaos and turned it into a village enslaved to its false promises, while the Church itself grows rich and powerful. So, we went to the village to spread the truth. Some people were able to verify the story, but most had moved here after Church took power, as my father and I had. All in all, people haven't really believed us. They claim that a woman who reads would no doubt have a spell book, and they say that I am merely a witch who's turned this animal human. Gaston's followers, especially, were outraged. They even threw a glass bottle at me. These people have been brainwashed with lies, and they simply don't want to be helped.


	93. The Revolt

**The Revolt**

In the midst of the night, the abandoned barn we had stayed in was ambushed. By dawn my father and Adam had been caged, and I was strung to a stake. My hands were tied behind my back, and hay covered my feet. I was put on a pedestal for all to see. I wasn't surprised. In fact, I'd expected this sooner. I am a Godless woman who refused to marry the most liked man in town. I am a woman who reads and measures herself to men. By now I should be dead. However, I am not. Enough people were able to stand up for me. The library's owner, the baker and his wife, and the people who relied on my father's farm and trades. These people stood up to Gaston and the Church, and I was released from my restraints.


	94. The Revolt's Conclusion

**The Revolt's Conclusion**

The town had been divided. On one side, there was Gaston's followers and the Church leaders. On the other, there were the people who had been tired of the hypocrisy. It took a month, but eventually Gaston's followers had conceded, and the Church surrendered its authority. I suppose, something is only as powerful as people believe it to be. Gaston is another story. He left the town, said he would rather live off the land than kneel before unholy monsters.


	95. Catholic Authority is Turned Over

**Catholic Authority is Turned Over**

After the Catholic Church surrendered to its rightful place, the town accepted Adam's right to rule. We spent a lot of time answering their questions, and I think for the most part we satisfied them. We gave Abigale and her family the farm, and when questioned if this means women can now own property, I turned to Adam for an answer. I hadn't expected him to be so forward, but he confirmed that in his kingdom both men and woman would have the right to own property to be given the chance to be independent and self-serving. Woman would no longer be reliant on men, and men would be respectful of women. Now that things will be equal, neither me nor any other woman shall be blackmailed into marriage again.


	96. Adam's Coronation

**Adam's Coronation**

Prior to returning to the castle, a festival was hosted in Adam's honor. People lined up their stalls to sell goods, people sang for change, and by sundown there was a feast. People seem really happy about this change. It's about time, I'd say. Just because something seems to work, does not necessarily mean it does work. It didn't work for Abigale, and it hadn't worked for me. I know Adam is very new to the idea of rule and will need help, but I'm confident that with someone at his side he will become the ruler this kingdom needs.


	97. The People's Wishes

**The People's Wishes**

After a short time, we made a trip to the kingdom to assess the people's wishes. They want more transportation, better building structure, and more roads. They want easy access to us, so they may ask for our help when they need it and not a week more. They are right about that. Castles are made to defy armies and intruders, but we have the kingdom backing us. There is no reason why the castle should be so far away, a forest blocking their way. The easiest solution to this is to clear the area of forest between the castle and the town, build better building structures with the lumber, and pave a direct road from the castle throughout the kingdom.


	98. Rebuilding Conques

**Rebuilding Conques **

Thanks to my father's woodchopper, we cleared enough forest before the summer even ended. Now it will be time to construct the buildings. The new ones are going to be bigger and more insulated. Every house will have a washroom, and every street shall have a well. It may be a little ambitious, but I'm confident that if everyone pulls through, it can happen. We have three or four more months to finish this. That's surely enough time, and when we are finished, we will have plenty of farms to feed the hungry and plenty of roads to transport needed goods.


	99. The Engagement Ball

**The Engagement Ball**

After three years of building up our kingdom, Adam and I threw a ball to celebrate our overwhelming success. It seems that after the curse broke the weather became more stable. Our seasons have been less intrusive, and the farms have been more than plentiful. Little did I know Adam's true intentions. At midnight he made an announcement to the kingdom, and then he kneeled to propose to me. I said yes, he slipped the gold ring onto my finger, and the people applauded. This has to have been one of the best nights in my life.


	100. Epilogue

All my life I dreamed of something more, a world of adventure and travels to unmarked places. It was different than I thought it would be. Never could I have imagined that the events leading to the worst time of my life would also lead to the best time of my life, a time where I feel more content and happy than I've ever been. It's the trials and tribulations, some would say. I say it was destiny. Everything horrible thing which happened in my life led me to this moment.

My name is Belle Marie. I broke my Beast's curse, and now I am the Lady to Prince Adam of the kingdom of Conques.

* * *

\- That's it for this story. Let me know what you thought.

\- Watch out for the story: My Name is Ben Florian, which will continue the entries of his mother's journal.


End file.
